Emotional Eating: Getting Curious – Part 2

“The power to question is the basis of all human progress.”

~ Indira Gandhi

Ok, so who’s ready to get curious about their feelings?!  I know, I know. It’s not the most fun exercise. The truth is, exploring and discovering how you really feel takes a certain amount of willingness and contrary action (doing something you don’t want to do).  And as you read this right now, you may feel nervous or scared.  Well, you’d be a unicorn if you didn’t. Let’s be real, sometimes we eat our emotions because it’s easier than dealing with them. I know I’ve done it. But what if I told you that getting curious about your feelings could be the key to unlocking the patterns that keep you trapped in emotional eating?

Getting curious about your feelings means taking a step back from the automatic reaction of reaching for food and instead, examining the thoughts and emotions that are driving that behavior. It’s like becoming a detective of your own emotions. But first, there has to be a mindful pause between feeling that strong desire to grab your favorite sweet or salty treat and putting it in your mouth. It’s in this pause that I have taught my coaching clients to ask themselves the following important questions.

Questions for Getting Curious

– What am I feeling right now?

– Why am I feeling this way?

– What triggered this emotion?

– What am I trying to avoid by eating?

– What’s happened in the last 24-48 hours (or one to two weeks if you are a “delayed responder”) that could cause me to self-soothe with food?

– What am I in need of that I could be replacing with food? Here a few things: connection, support, time to relax, fun and laughter.

You may find that it’s difficult to clearly identify your feelings. If you struggle to get in touch with how you’re feeling, I recommend looking at a list of feelings and seeing what resonates with you. Then go back and try to use these questions. As you begin to answer them, please keep in mind that you are not a human punching bag. Go easy on yourself. Aim for being an observer or witness to these emotions rather than a judge or critic.

Useful Tools

So, how else can you gain access to feelings? Here are a few tools I often suggest to my clients:

1. Journaling: Writing down your thoughts and feelings is a powerful way to get curious about your emotions. You can use prompts like the questions I listed above. You can also try free-flow writing for a few minutes each day, without worrying about grammar or structure. Use this time to explore your emotions and reflect on any patterns or triggers that you notice.

2. Meditation: Practicing mindfulness meditation can help you develop greater awareness of your thoughts and emotions. Try focusing on your breath for a few minutes each day and notice any thoughts or emotions that arise. Remember, the goal isn’t to eliminate your thoughts and emotions, but rather to observe them without judging yourself. Let them pass by like clouds and continue to bring yourself back to your breath, five senses and surroundings.

3. Talking to a coach or therapist: Sometimes, it can be helpful to talk to a professional about what challenges you’re facing. This can help you gain new perspectives and insights into your patterns of emotional eating. It may take a few tries before you find the right fit. In the meantime, consider reaching out to someone you trust and feel safe with for support.

By getting curious about your feelings, you can start to understand the underlying emotions and beliefs that contribute to emotional eating. Maybe you’re feeling stressed, anxious, or overwhelmed. Maybe you’re using food as a way to numb difficult emotions or avoid uncomfortable situations. Perhaps you’re trying to meet unmet emotional needs through food. Whatever the case may be, getting curious about your feelings can help you identify the root causes of emotional eating and work towards healthier ways of coping.

A Few Last Words

Getting curious about your feelings isn’t always easy or comfortable. Confronting difficult emotions and beliefs that we’ve been avoiding can be scary. And it can be frustrating when we don’t have all the answers right away. Here’s the thing though. By getting curious about your feelings, you can start to break free from the patterns that keep you stuck in emotional eating and start living a life that’s more aligned with your values and desires. In addition to what you are feeling, it’s equally important to question what you are thinking.

Consider, for a moment, that your thought may not be true. Take it a step further and check out if it could be a limiting belief that is keeping you in your same destructive cycle. Because all feelings originate from a thought or belief, it only makes sense to explore this. So, stay tuned for a future post on this very soon! Meanwhile, if getting curious about your feelings is a challenge and you want more guidance, support and accountability, please schedule your 30 minute complimentary coaching session with me. In this session, you can ask me all the questions you want. Or, we can treat it as an actual coaching session and address a specific issue you’re facing.